Standing in the chilly stairway, becoming acquainted with other participants as we waited to be weighed and measured, I noticed that those who'd completed the process were leaving with little white bags. 

What's this?! 

Goodie bags?!

Oh, huzzah!  Who doesn't love a goodie bag?  Whether it's filled with crayons and bubbles from a birthday party, bells and bubbles from a wedding, or with bounties of luxury from Hollywood award shows, the very name says it all:  Goodie!

I got home and poured out the contents of my goodie bag.  First there were the papers I'd tucked into the bag, including a gift from the wonderful people at Aladdin's (yay, Aladdin's!). 

Then more paper.

And some more paper.

And a pen.

And a pedometer.

*shake shake*

Um.  Nothing else in there. 

I don't know what I was expecting to find in my goodie bag, but whatever it was… I didn't find it.   Where was the thing that would zing the strings of my heart?

I hopped online where I found messages from Friends:

"Wishing you well with this adventure."  Oh yeah – I love adventure!  It's something I learned the last time I participated in Lighten Up.

"None of us should be afraid to try again."  I don't have to be ashamed of not having gotten there yet.  I'm in a far different place than I ever imagined.

"I thought you looked fantastic."

Presence and support, not just online but in the room filled Lighten Up organizers, partners, and participants.

I couldn't find what I was looking for in my goodie bag because the very bestest goodies of my life are the living, breathing ones (who don't enjoy being shoved inside paper bags).  It is they who fill in the spaces between activity monitors and calories, and who help me keep my fears in check, accompanying me not only within the confines of Lighten Up but in the big wide world of being my healthiest, most well-rounded (but leaner) me.

Goodie!